Sure, I could. But I want to do TNT. With TNT I run to raise funds and support The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society’s (LLS) mission of finding a cure for leukemia, lymphoma, Hodgkin’s disease, and myeloma, and improving the quality of life of patients and their families. One person in the United States is diagnosed with a blood cancer approximately every four minutes. New cases of leukemia, lymphoma and myeloma will account for 9 percent of new cancer cases diagnosed in the United States this year. Research funded by LLS has developed treatments and therapies that benefit patients with cancers other than blood cancers. LLS also has a program to provide financial assistance to patients in need; this program is supported entirely by public contributions. LLS receives no federal funding. In the 20+ years since its inception, TNT participants have raised more than $1 billion to support LLS’ blood cancer research and patient services.

Me during the 2010 Equinox Marathon. Photo courtesy of Ned Rozell.

I also do TNT because of Stephanie, my sister who battled Hodgkin’s lymphoma for seven years before losing her fight. And because of my mother, Uncles Owen and Irv, cousins Michelle, Geetie, Shandi, JoLynn and Julie, and Dov, Lynn, Kathy, Skip, Marna, Sharon, Anne-Marie, Don, Connie, Andrew and … the list of family and friends with cancer continues to grow.

TNT helped me complete the 26.2-mile Equinox Marathon twice. The Equinox is one of the most difficult marathons in North America and right in my backyard. This year, in addition to participating in the Equinox Marathon & Relay in Fairbanks on September 17, 2011, I’m training for the Nike Women’s Marathon in San Francisco on October 16. I’ve committed to follow the training program and train with the team on weekends. I’m also dedicated to raising at least $2,500 in donations to help LLS further its mission.

You can help with my mission by making a generous, 100% tax-deductible donation to help me and the Team reach our goals. Any amount you give will help — it all adds up! With TNT, 75% of every donation goes directly to research and patient services. Plus, donations of $100 or more are eligible to receive one Alaska Airlines Mileage Plan mile for every dollar donated. My personal fundraising deadline is coming up, so I’d appreciate if you made your contribution before July 31. I will be able to accept donations after this date, and until September 6, but why wait?

Please go to my personal fundraising page to donate online quickly and securely plus learn more about my progress.  You will receive a confirmation of your donation by e-mail and I will be notified as soon as you make your donation.

Thanks in advance for your generous support!

Most importantly, I’m doing this for Stephanie, who I miss more than I ever imagined and who I think about during every run I do. I’m doing this for my Mom, Uncle Owen, cousins Michelle & Shandi, (too) numerous friends like Lynn & Kathy, and everybody else whose body, family, and friends have been affected by cancer.

The Equinox Marathon is tough, and so is training for it. But I’m determined and committed, just like I’m committed to helping LLS further their mission. I’m going to need all the help I can get, whether it’s encouragement, advice, or a tax-deductible donation to help me and the TEAM reach our goals. Stay tuned …

Leading up to race day

Equinox Marathon course profile

The week leading up to race day was an emotional roller coaster, full of ups and downs much like the Equinox race course. Sunday the TEAM had our final training run together and I finally got to see the whole out-and-back portion of the race trail (approximately miles 12.4 to 17). We had a potluck after practice to celebrate, but it was bittersweet knowing that it was the last practice we’d have together this year. All week I’d range from being excited and eager to doubtful and terrified, which I hear are perfectly normal symptoms of “taper madness.” My coaches, TEAMies, friends, and family all assured me that my feelings were normal but that I was ready and could do this.

The first folks from the out of town TEAM arrived on Wednesday and several of us met at Silver Gulch for dinner. It was nice to see friends from last year’s TEAM and meet some of the new ones too. Thursday night was the TEAM inspiration dinner, which is a chance for the TEAM and guests to get together and get ramped up for the marathon and relay. We got our TEAM shirts for race day, recognized the TEAM sponsors, coaches, and mentors, and shared some sources of inspiration to get us through the marathon. I talked about Stephanie and how she continues to inspire me. I also shared a list that her friend wrote for her, and shared at her funeral, of “Lessons we learned from Stephanie.” Steve, the awesome race director for the Equinox, came to the dinner too and brought our race bibs, shirts, and water bottles. I played tour guide on Friday and took some of the out of town guests to visit a mushing kennel and on a tour at the Large Animal Research Station (a.k.a. the muskox farm). The race hosted a pre-race pasta feed (and bib pick-up) at The Pump House restaurant on Friday evening, which is a good chance to carbo-load and visit with other participants. I laid out all my clothes for race day, pinned my bib on my shirt, attached the TNT “toe-tag” to my running shoes, packed up way too many options for extra clothes and food, charged and packed my iPod and GPS, and went to bed relatively early in hopes of being decently rested for the big day.

Race day (finally!)

I got up Saturday morning and tried to stay calm as I went through my morning prep. I ate an “Elvis bagel,” a whole wheat bagel (from Lu Lu’s Bread & Bagel, of course) with peanut butter and banana, drank some coffee, did the usual morning chores, loaded up the car, and off we went. There was a pre-race meeting in the Patty Center gym then we went outside to the start area. The starter’s pistol went off at 8 a.m. and up the hill we went.

The hill at the start of the Equinox marathon

I was nervous about the first leg of the race because there were parts I’d only seen once before. I was also nervous because it had rained the day and night before and I worried that the trail would be muddy and slippery. However the trail was quite nice and stayed that way the entire course! I first saw Chris at the intersection of Ballaine and Yankovich and had warmed up enough that I handed him my jacket. Shortly after that my teammate Linda caught up with me and we ended up running/walking most of the rest of that leg of the race either together or close by. The first leg was really fun as there were lots of spectators still around even when us slowpokes came by. My teammate and friend Donna’s son was working at one of the trail crossings and gave me a good cheer on. And there were other people I knew cheering us on at various places along the trail.

At the muskox farm and just past the mile 5 marker on the Equinox course. Linda is right behind me.

Before I knew it, we were coming down the trail along the muskox farm to the mile 5 marker. Chris was there and topped off my water bottle before I headed onto the ski trails. The race course follows the ski trails until the intersection of Miller Hill and Yankovich—an intersection quite familiar to me as we go through it to get to or from our house.

Equinox trail from Miller Hill/Yankovich to Lawlor

Chris was there too with a big smile and his iPhone to take a photo. Linda and I kept each other company all the way to Sheep Creek Road, where she finally saw her family. Coach Kevin was waiting to check on his TEAM as we approached the intersection of Sheep Creek and Ester Dome Road, just before the first relay exchange point. He gave me a big smile and said I looked good moving along there. I felt good and was pleased with how things were going, but next up was Ester Dome…

I’ve been up Ester Dome on the race trail many times before, but this trip felt like the longest. Linda pulled ahead of me here, but I caught back up to her after she took a pit stop in the woods. She thought we were still moving along decently, and we continued up the hill. New for the race this year was that they didn’t allow vehicles up Ester Dome past N. Henderson Road; it was great not having to dodge cars while heading up the hill. Chris met me at that intersection and walked with me to the top. Coach Liz met us along the way. When I told her that this felt like the longest trip up Ester Dome ever, she grinned and replied, “It’s supposed to feel like that. You’re doing great!”

I too needed a pit stop in the woods, but decided to wait and used the port-a-potty at the top (mile 12.4). Turns out this was a BIG mistake, although I still am not sure why. After my potty break, I got my jacket back from Chris (it was chilly up there), topped off my water bottle, and headed for the out-and-back.

Heading out the Equinox out-and-back

A few yards later I saw my teammate Dawniel heading toward the chute and friend/former teammate Adrianna coming to give me a hug and encouragement. It was about then that I noticed sharp pain in my right knee. Adrianna got worried and called to Megan, the TNT race day coordinator, to come check on me. Megan was in the middle of checking on someone else and said she’d catch up. I continued along the out-and-back and the pain continued. First bit of Equinox irony: prior to race day, I hadn’t had any trouble with my right knee. Megan finally caught up to me and joked that I was a hard person to catch. We talked about how I was feeling and figured it was my iliotibial, or IT, band, which is a ligament that runs from the hip, down the outside of the thigh, and along the outside of the knee to the shin. Next Equinox irony: it hurt MUCH worse on the downhills. Normally I love the downhills partly because I can easily run them. Plus, most of the race course after the out-and-back is downhill. Megan kept me company as I limped along the out-and-back. She was so cute; she has a fear of wildlife and said she never would have done this trail by herself. She also repeatedly commented on how crazy we all were for doing this race. Yes. Yes, we are. We saw several TEAMies who all smiled and shared words of encouragement, even if they felt poorly, like Christine, who was sick and “felt like ass” plus had pain in her ass (also an IT band issue). My teammate Laurie caught up to us. She’s a massage therapist and I recently had an appointment with her. I told her my knee was broken and she stopped to try to help it with some massage. Then she said she’d do it again on the way back. At the turnaround point on the course, there’s a water station with fruit and cookies. Even though I was carrying energy chews, a cookie sounded really good—and the chocolate chip one I had really hit the spot. Chris met me as I emerged from the out-and-back. He was worried. Laurie had given him some arnica for me to take, so I took some and continued on.

I always take my time going down the infamous chute, but I took extra time during the race. I knew it would be one of the worst parts of the trail for my knee, although it turned out that the trail after the chute was the worst. The next part of the course is usually one of my favorite parts of the trail—it goes gradually downhill through some lovely forest—but not today. Any time I tried to pick up the pace, the pain would worsen, sometimes to the point of not holding my weight. I took lots of breaks and tried to stretch and massage my IT band to ease the pain enough to continue. I sobbed at the thought that I might not be able to finish and would let all my friends and supporters down, let alone me. Somehow I made it through the woods and out onto Henderson Road.

Shortly thereafter I saw a figure dressed in black heading up the road toward me. I realized it was Kevin and felt the tears coming back. Through my sobs I told him that I hurt so bad. He already knew and said he was going to ask me some questions to evaluate whether or not he’d let me continue. I knew what the first question would be and told him, “10, well, 9 at the moment.” I don’t even remember all of the questions, but he figured that I probably hadn’t torn anything, which was good. Kevin said that Chris was waiting at the intersection with St. Patrick Road and they had a plan to try to get me to the finish line. Lucky for me we had a cooler for my extra beverages and several ice packs to keep them cool. Kevin had brought an ace bandage and wrapped the ice pack against my knee. I also took some ibuprofen and kept on down the road. Kevin said he’d go on ahead and meet back up with me to see if that had helped. I was hobbling along Henderson when I heard a vehicle slow down next to me. It was Drew, Chris’ step-cousin, who is a very good runner and finished fifth overall in this year’s Equinox. He rooted me on and asked if I needed any water. Too cool. A few minutes later a car approached from in front of me; it was Kristen and Tina coming to cheer me on. Kristen’s husband and daughter were relatively close to me (I guess it really slows a person down when you have to carry or push a small child the whole way), so they went back and forth cheering. Kristen is another amazing runner, and has a lifetime membership to the Equinox Marathon, but had the flu and was forced to scratch this year. Tina decided fairly late to enter this year’s race, yet ended up finishing 20th among the women. More coolness.

The Equinox trail along the power line parallel to Goldhill Road. Adrianna and Megan were waiting for me and Kevin.

Kevin met me again on Goldhill Road and walked with me as the trail turned off the road onto a power line trail. The ice and ibuprofen had helped some and I was moving a little better at that point. Before reaching the power line, there was an unofficial water stop known for providing beverages in addition to just water and Powerade. Kevin joked about getting me something else for the pain and asked if they had any whiskey. The couple at the stop said no but they could probably make a bloody mary. The man there offered me ibuprofen, then the woman, much to the man’s surprise, said she could give me some vicodin. Not really, but the suggestion was funny anyway. Kevin kept me company the entire length of the power line and even commented that my energy level seemed really good. I half-joked that it was because I was having to walk all the time rather than run. Chris, Megan, and Adrianna were waiting at the water stop at the end of the power line. They did a cute, three person version of the wave for us. Between the company and cheering section, my spirits were better and I felt I could make it to the finish. Donna’s son, Ian, drove by at one point and gave me a cheer; what a sweetie. Kristen came by again after checking on her family, and I kept plodding along.

Chris waited every mile and a half or so to see how I was doing and make sure I had any food or drink that I needed. He was so awesome all day! By the time I got to the end of Goldhill, I was ready for a push to the finish. Chris and Adrianna met me there. I handed Chris my water bottle and pack, then Adrianna joined me for part of the last 1.2 miles, including the “heartbreak hill” at mile 25, and I sent Chris on to the finish line.

Bonni and Peggy joined us, cheering, as we emerged from the ski trails; they had both completed the inaugural Equinox Ultramarathon, yet still found the energy to join me for the last half mile or so. Adrianna headed off to meet us at the finish. Erica and her new puppy joined us along the road and the four of us made the final “run” to the finish line.

Finishing the 2009 Equinox Marathon with my TEAM. That's Peggy, Erica, and Bonni running with me to the finish line.

I had planned to make a sprint to the finish, and decided I’d go ahead and do that once we got to the grass. We emerged from the trees that lead to the grass and I saw a whole bunch of the TEAM waiting at the finish line. They cheered and we jogged the last few feet to the end, hand in hand. I couldn’t help but smile at the sight of everyone who had stayed long enough for me to finish, despite being cold and tired. Chris was there with my friend Carol, who had been calling to check on me and track my progress so she could meet us at the finish. I crossed the finish line and was instantly immersed in hugs and congratulations from TEAMies. The finish line crew scanned my bib, pulled the tag off my bib, and handed me my finisher’s patch with congrats. My emotions took over and the tears flowed as the hugs and congratulations came.

It’s still sinking in that I finished my first marathon, and that it was the Equinox. I would have preferred to have done it faster and with a lot less pain, but, as some of my TEAMies said, it’s a PR (personal record) and I’ve set the bar nice and low to have a new PR when I do this again next year.

Several of us slower runners and walkers took advantage of the early start time for “those needing more time to finish the race.” I penguined my way along the course … running some of the time … walking a lot of the time … Every so often I’d enjoy the company of one of my TEAMies for a while before they left me in the dust. The faster runners started an hour later and we knew they’d be running past us at some point. Just before mile 7, as we ran along the top of a dike, a pair of runners suddenly came flying past me. I recognized the familiar ponytail of our coach Kevin. He cruised by, gave me a quick thumbs-up, and that was the last I saw of him. I then caught up to another TEAMie and we marveled at how quickly and seemingly effortlessly those two had passed us. We kept each other company for a while and, probably around mile 8 or so, saw someone in a TNT shirt running toward us. It was coach Liz checking to see how we were doing. She traveled with me for a bit before heading off to check on other TEAMies.

I did my own thing for the rest of the race, running and walking and trying to stay out of the way of the faster runners as they passed me. Many of them said nice things, like “Great job!” or “Way to go!” or “Looking good!” as they passed. A couple of people that I knew said hello or reminded me how close to the finish we were. By the time we got back onto pavement around mile 11, I started to feel really tired. I kept pushing because I really wanted to beat my finish time from last year, but the closer I got to the finish line, the harder it was to ramp up to a run. A TEAMie ran by and gave me a big, “You’re doing great! Go TEAM!” and I thought, “Gee thanks, but I’m not doing great, I feel like crap.” Another pair of TEAMies ran by cheering me on, but instead of blowing by, one slowed to a walk and waited for me. I thanked her for the company and told her she should just go on ahead, but she replied that she was really tired and happy to walk. I wasn’t feeling very well at that point, and I think she knew that. I started to slow more and she turned and held out her hand to help keep me going. She asked me if I thought we looked totally dorky walking hand in hand, but we decided we didn’t care. When we finally reached the final turn onto the grass to the finish chute, we decided to sprint our way in. We held our hands up as other TEAMies and total strangers cheered for us. I have no idea what my official finish time was, although I think I just barely beat last year’s time, but it really doesn’t matter much ’cause I’ve got my TEAM behind me no matter how I do.

Unfortunately this year the salon canceled my pedicure THAT morning. ARGH! I found another salon that could fit me in and got my pedicure. The pedicure was okay, but not what I needed (and not the best pedicure either). The people were friendly, but chatty. I wanted to zen-out. I had a hard time choosing a color too. I finally settled on a nice, fun shade of purple.

Purple toes with Buddy toes

Purple also happens to be an official Team in Training color, and my toes are pretty close to that purple. I didn’t do that on purpose though

Yellow-billed Loon, still in basic plumage

It was an awesome boat trip and we saw awesome birds (and lots of them), sea otters, and even harbor seals and harbor porpoises. The highlight for me was a Yellow-billed Loon. This was a life bird, and I would have been happy to see just one. Instead we saw THREE Yellow-billed Loons on this single trip.

Now I’m not a serious or competitive lister, but it’s always exciting to see a new species. And these loons are so cool for many reasons, including that they’re the largest of the loons. Yellow-billed Loon is also a species of conservation concern and on the National Audubon Society’s WatchList. I’m glad I got to see a Yellow-billed Loon before they’re all gone (but I hope that never happens).

• The truck is naked. We took the dog boxes off for the summer.
• There are muddy paw prints on the glass door between the living room and the deck/dog yard.
• We saw a butterfly today and a mosquito yesterday.
• Chris is roasting coffee outside instead of in the workshop.
• We traded in our mukluks for break-up boots.
• Our yard list for the year changes practically every day as birds return from their wintering grounds.
• Sunday afternoons often revolve around listening to Sunday Night Baseball on the radio.
• Kiva changed from being a sled dog to a retriever. She expects us to play fetch almost every day. Hooray for the Chuckit!
• The creek is rapidly rising.

Today was the 12th annual Mush for Kids, hosted by the Alaska Children’s Trust. It’s a good event for raising awareness about sled dogs and mushing, dog etiquette, and an organization that works to prevent child abuse and neglect in Alaska. I’ve participated in this fun community event for the past several years. Usually I help with the free dog sled rides by handling dogs while sleds are being loaded or unloaded with passengers. I don’t actually give the rides; my dogs can’t deal with stopping and starting and going around this little trail. As one might expect, there’s always a HUGE line of people waiting to get rides. I also usually bring Piper and Koidern to walk along the line getting pets from kids to help pass their time in line. Piper and Koidern love getting pets and are really good around the kids. It’s also a good opportunity to encourage kids to respect the dogs and use good manners around them. For example, if a kid comes up and asks if they may pet the dog instead of just barging up to it, I try to reward that behavior by thanking the kid for asking first.

As part of the event, some local dentists provide toothbrushes to give out to kids. There’s been a dog who walks around wearing a backpack full of toothbrushes. This year, the dog’s owner decided he was too old to do this job and asked some other mushers if they wanted to use a rescue dog for this task. It’s a bit much of a task to ask just any shelter (or former shelter) dog, because the dog needs to be very tolerant of children and crowds of people. I offered Piper for the job; she was adopted from the animal shelter and a veteran of this event.

Piper the Toothbrush Dog

Today Piper became “Piper the Toothbrush Dog.” She was a bit worried about it at first. She’s never worn a backpack before. And she didn’t walk around with me. There was another volunteer recruited to walk the toothbrush dog. Sarah loves dogs and learned quickly. Shortly after I left them on their own, Piper rebelled and didn’t want to walk around. It didn’t help that the backpack was a little big on her.

I readjusted the pack, gave Sarah a bag of bribes (a.k.a. Yummy Chummies dog treats), and suggested they try again. This time Piper got the hang of things.

Piper the Toothbrush Dog at work with Sarah

Piper and Sarah walked around the event for a few hours until they ran out of toothbrushes. Piper got lots of pets and attention, and I hear she may have gotten a treat or two.

While Piper did her job, I helped hold dogs while sleds were emptied of their passengers at the dog sled rides until Carol came to relieve me. Then Koidern and I walked along the line allowing people to meet and pet a real sled dog. After a while I gave Koidern a break and took her sister, Kluane, out to give Carol a break.

It was a perfect day for this event: sunny and just warm enough for the people while staying cool enough for the dogs and trail. As thing in the dog lot wound down, Carol and I took our two matching dogs out and chatted with one of the organizers. Kluane and Koidern both belonged to our training partner, Bonnie, until she decided that they didn’t fit with her kennel. Kluane fit with Carol, Koidern fit with me, and they both keep coming back to train at Bonnie’s. Besides loving attention and pets, they both love to give hugs.

Carol getting hugs from Kluane and Koidern

But now we have another holiday miracle. It’s related to last year’s holiday miracle.

It has been a little more than a year since Deuce laid down in the house for the first time. He had to retire from being a sled dog this winter. His shoulder wouldn’t let him keep training. Deuce has been handling his retirement quite nicely, and much better than I’m dealing with it. Each time I run the team of “not-so-grumpy old men” I think about how Deuce was supposed to be in that team and it makes me sad. Deuce, on the other hand, spends lots of time in the house and seems to really enjoy being with us more than ever. His favorite snoozing spots have been on the rug by the glass doors, on a rug in front of the heater, and on the rug in front of the sofa.

Then tonight he did this:

Deuce on a dog bed

Was this a fluke? A one time deal? I don’t think so.

Deuce on a bed again

Coincidence that it’s the second night of Hanukkah? Could be. He’s on a bed again as I type. Sorry Kiva. The beds just got a little more crowded.

Crowded dog beds

Maybe it’s because I spent the first 17 years of my life in southern New Jersey, which is flat as a pancake? Or maybe that’s just me trying to rationalize away the fact that I’m not exactly at my ideal body weight or fitness and it’s harder to lug the extra weight up a hill? Add to that the fact that I’ve never been particularly athletic or physically fit …

When I signed up for Team in Training, it wasn’t the fundraising that worried me most; it was the running. (Did I mention that I’ve never been athletic?) Even more, it was the running up Ester Dome.

The first time the team planned to go up Ester Dome during our group run, I was really nervous. But I made it to the top, enjoyed the view, savored my accomplishment for a few seconds, and headed back down. Down has never been a problem. Given that hills and I have never gotten along, I expected to have this sinking feeling every time we went near a hill. And I did. Or so I thought. Until last week.

Our coach, Kevin, e-mailed the team with encouragement and our plans for the team run just as he does every week. The plan was to meet at UAF’s Patty Center, run on the Equinox trail until we got to Ballaine and Yankovich, then run west along Yankovich until meeting the Equinox trail across from the muskox farm to head back into the woods. From there the team would follow the Equinox trail to Ann’s Greenhouse and up Ester Dome. We’d skip the out-and-back and head down the chute to follow the rest of the Equinox trail back to the Patty Center. Total mileage to be around 18 miles.

But, since I’m only doing the relay and not the entire marathon, I’m not doing as many miles as the rest of the team and instead focusing on increasing the percentage of my runs that I’m actually running as opposed to walking. So I e-mailed Kevin and asked what the plan was for us doing fewer miles. He responded that we’d do the same route as everyone else until Ann’s Greenhouse, then skip Ester Dome and run back to the Patty Center along the Sheep Creek bike path.

I read Kevin’s e-mail and was disappointed that I wouldn’t be running up Ester Dome. Not relieved. Not even indifferent. Disappointed. That’s when I realized that, although they’re still difficult and physically exhausting for me, I don’t hate hills any more. I wouldn’t call us friends yet, but no longer enemies.